Hi there.
It's been a while, I know. All I got in regards to that is: sorry.
So here we go. I offered to run an errand this afternoon for a coworker of mine. The place I had to go was a bit-of-a-ways away. I hopped onto the highway, took an exit onto a main road and then happened to sort of hmm, I don't know, miss the road I was supposed to take (for those who know me, this isn't an all to uncommon thing in my life). However, I was only a bit off track and found myself at my designated location in no time at all. But while driving there I thought, I wonder if I could just take Monroe all the way back? Won't it get me back to the Chapter too?
As I began my route back I wavered back and forth as to whether or not I wanted to see if Monroe Street led where I thought it would lead. I even put my blinker on so as to turn off and start going back from where I came from. But the oh-so-adventurous part of Kaylee wanted to see if I could do it...To see if I was right.
I'm not going to lie, upon making the decision to try the "unexplored route" I got incredibly nervous and anxiety filled my stomach. I think I went in and out of hot flashes as my stomach remained a bit turned up-side down as I continued to drive on Monroe Street. I had just a few anxious thoughts screaming in my ear, What if you get lost? What if you're going in the opposite direction? What if you don't make it back to the Chapter for a really long time?
Perhaps it was the stubbornness in me, but I kept on going - the feelings of anxiety going right alongside with me. But as I rounded a corner I got a huge view of the city which informed me that I was right on track.
As my stomach flipped right-side up I couldn't help but think of the pattern in my life right now and really, my life for the past few years. Worry. Adventure. Amazing. Worry. Adventure. Amazing. I tend to worry over and over again that I'm going to make the wrong decision and that upon that one decision I'll mess it all up and end up outside of where God wants me. But at the same time, I have this huge fear of just going down that "same ole road."
Now, it is to note that "the same old road" isn't essentially "wrong." In fact, I had a friend who recently told me that life isn't necessarily right or wrong, rather the choice lies with what will bring the most life. So it's just that life offers a lot of options and we don't have to let fear keep us on that "same old road" when our hearts are calling us to so much more.
Some of you today, are sitting on that "same old road" wondering if maybe there's an adventure to be had. Another road to take. If so, I encourage you to go for it. Live. Live recklessly abandoned to God and the great things He has in store for you. Be wise. But be. Be the adventure your heart is calling you to embrace.
For those of you who, perhaps, have found yourself winding down the path of adventure, but are filled with anxiety and worry, keep on going. Let the worry go. As I drove down the road today, the city continued to go in and out of sight. You will not always see how you're working for His Kingdom and you may not always have the desired affirmation that what you're doing is "His will." But trust that life has infinite options, infinite roads to take. Take one, then maybe take another. Glimpses of His Kingdom will come in and out of sight. Look forward to those glorious moments when you do see it, and in the moments of anxiety, remember to rest.
My friend told me recently that God doesn't always tell us where to go until after we're there...Then he told me to, "just have fun!" (I think he was trying to tell me something, ha ha).
Cheering you on as you turn off the "same old road" and find all that was meant to be lived.
May you have the courage, strength, and faith to explore.
Kaylee
Jun 10, 2008
99 Found, Looking for the Lost One.
Hi all.
If you've been watching the news at all the past week you're probably well aware of the little boy scout who was lost in the Carolina mountains...
Lost. I've been there.
Lost. I've been lost in a lot of different ways. There isn't just one kind of lost - well, at least not how I see it. I've been geographically lost (Just ask my dad about this one. He's become a pro at interstate-mapquesting, ha). I've been mentally lost (I find myself in this kind of lost a little all too often, ha ha). Sometimes I'm lost in day-dreams (love this kind of lost). Sometimes I'm lost in myself (oops!). I can get lost in others (no comment on this), and I can get lost in the beauty of things (deep relaxation in this kind of lost).
At times, I'm lost for only a moment but at other times, I'm lost for a season...there have been times where I have wandered away from God. These are the prideful times where I think on my own I can make my life better. I'm lost in pride. Lost in foolishness. Lost in ignorance, and lost in guilt. It takes the loving hand of my gracious Savior, His oh-so-loving voice beckoning me back, to draw me away from my distorted path and gently place me on a path that is straight.
Then there are times when I wake up from a hard fall...and I'm lost. The fall can be relationally, spiritually, physically...however it is I may fall... the point is I'm fallen. It tends to take me a while to realize I've fallen. I tend to get angry that I wasn't kept from falling, confused as to why the tumble and trip was allowed. Eventually, I'll come to realize that I feel a bit lost. I wish I could say I'm like a Daniel Boone or a Lewis and Clark who would most likely consider it a great adventure to be lost somewhere and have to find your way out...I wish that was me...but it's not. My typical reaction is a weary spirit that's usually near close to giving up on being found. Rather pathetic attitude, I must admit.
If you stayed up to date on the story of the lost little boy. He was found.
When my mom told me this I just about burst into tears of joy. I remained just as excited about it all as I continued to watch news reports on it. I can't help put think of our Heavenly Father. I know...I've heard it over and over again how He seeks the lost and loves us and...and...But to realize how excited I was over this lost boy being found, only brought into light how much more our Father rejoices when we are found.
I think it's fair to say that each of our hearts went out to this lost boy. You may not have ever been lost just as he, but you've been lost. You know how it feels to some extent. And it was almost too much to bear to think about all that he was going through...So too, God must mourn with us and for us while we're lost.
Are you lost? Maybe not "off the path" lost but I mean lost. Are you lost? Whatever lost may mean in your life today. Are you lost? Lost as to where to go next in life? Are you at a loss as to how to fix your relationship? Lost on what you truly think of this God of ours? Lost in your emotions? or simply lost...are you lost?
Good news. You will be found. A season of being lost, and at a loss, certainly does not label you as a failure, a fallen Christian. We come from the nation Israel, which means, one who struggles with God. Yes, we struggle with being lost. We don't particularly like (which is understandable) all the different emotions that being lost invokes; feelings of fear, loneliness, anger, assault...But we will always be found. He will always make straight our paths. He will lead us home.
They interviewed a boy scout on one of the news reports. He said the three things you learn as a boy scout are one, stick with someone. Two, stay on the path...and three...three? I don't remember (it was probably something like don't eat girl scout cookies, ha ha...just kidding. I don't remember three) But I find point one and two to be very interesting...
If you're lost today...cling on to community, and to the life and direction it brings, stay on the path as best as you can, and remember, you will be found. And oh how incredibly great our Father rejoices when we are found. Tears to His eyes, warmth to His heart, and some sweet-sweet honey to His soul.
Cheering you on in whatever season of lost you may be in today.
May you trust that you will be found.
Kaylee
If you've been watching the news at all the past week you're probably well aware of the little boy scout who was lost in the Carolina mountains...
Lost. I've been there.
Lost. I've been lost in a lot of different ways. There isn't just one kind of lost - well, at least not how I see it. I've been geographically lost (Just ask my dad about this one. He's become a pro at interstate-mapquesting, ha). I've been mentally lost (I find myself in this kind of lost a little all too often, ha ha). Sometimes I'm lost in day-dreams (love this kind of lost). Sometimes I'm lost in myself (oops!). I can get lost in others (no comment on this), and I can get lost in the beauty of things (deep relaxation in this kind of lost).
At times, I'm lost for only a moment but at other times, I'm lost for a season...there have been times where I have wandered away from God. These are the prideful times where I think on my own I can make my life better. I'm lost in pride. Lost in foolishness. Lost in ignorance, and lost in guilt. It takes the loving hand of my gracious Savior, His oh-so-loving voice beckoning me back, to draw me away from my distorted path and gently place me on a path that is straight.
Then there are times when I wake up from a hard fall...and I'm lost. The fall can be relationally, spiritually, physically...however it is I may fall... the point is I'm fallen. It tends to take me a while to realize I've fallen. I tend to get angry that I wasn't kept from falling, confused as to why the tumble and trip was allowed. Eventually, I'll come to realize that I feel a bit lost. I wish I could say I'm like a Daniel Boone or a Lewis and Clark who would most likely consider it a great adventure to be lost somewhere and have to find your way out...I wish that was me...but it's not. My typical reaction is a weary spirit that's usually near close to giving up on being found. Rather pathetic attitude, I must admit.
If you stayed up to date on the story of the lost little boy. He was found.
When my mom told me this I just about burst into tears of joy. I remained just as excited about it all as I continued to watch news reports on it. I can't help put think of our Heavenly Father. I know...I've heard it over and over again how He seeks the lost and loves us and...and...But to realize how excited I was over this lost boy being found, only brought into light how much more our Father rejoices when we are found.
I think it's fair to say that each of our hearts went out to this lost boy. You may not have ever been lost just as he, but you've been lost. You know how it feels to some extent. And it was almost too much to bear to think about all that he was going through...So too, God must mourn with us and for us while we're lost.
Are you lost? Maybe not "off the path" lost but I mean lost. Are you lost? Whatever lost may mean in your life today. Are you lost? Lost as to where to go next in life? Are you at a loss as to how to fix your relationship? Lost on what you truly think of this God of ours? Lost in your emotions? or simply lost...are you lost?
Good news. You will be found. A season of being lost, and at a loss, certainly does not label you as a failure, a fallen Christian. We come from the nation Israel, which means, one who struggles with God. Yes, we struggle with being lost. We don't particularly like (which is understandable) all the different emotions that being lost invokes; feelings of fear, loneliness, anger, assault...But we will always be found. He will always make straight our paths. He will lead us home.
They interviewed a boy scout on one of the news reports. He said the three things you learn as a boy scout are one, stick with someone. Two, stay on the path...and three...three? I don't remember (it was probably something like don't eat girl scout cookies, ha ha...just kidding. I don't remember three) But I find point one and two to be very interesting...
If you're lost today...cling on to community, and to the life and direction it brings, stay on the path as best as you can, and remember, you will be found. And oh how incredibly great our Father rejoices when we are found. Tears to His eyes, warmth to His heart, and some sweet-sweet honey to His soul.
Cheering you on in whatever season of lost you may be in today.
May you trust that you will be found.
Kaylee
Alphabet Soup.
Good Afternoon Y'all!
I sat down to write an email this morning. I began typing about a half a sentence worth of words and looked up only to see an utter disaster on the screen. Somehow, as I had begun to type, my hands had shifted a bit and instead of typing up a work of comprehensible material, I instead produced a mess, an incomprehensible cluster of letters, truly, a bowl of alphabet soup displayed itself on my screen. My fingers could have been flowing in sure literary genius, but without my fingers placed correctly on the keyboard, a disaster is all that I could produce. I'll admit I had to have a little chuckle at my expense...
Most of you can relate to this situation. However, some of you are still using the two-finger typing method and have yet to graduate to the two-handed, all finger encompassing efficiency and skill of typing, ha. Either way, most of you can relate to the struggling attempt of typing in perfection (I think it's fair to say that most of us are all too familiar with the "backspace" button on our keyboard, ha ha).
I can't help but think that the placement of my hands on the keyboard is like the placement of Christ in my life. Just a little off kilt and my desire to create a sure flowing grammatical and comprehensible masterpiece erupted into a disastrous mess of an email. So too, with Christ, placing Him just a little out of the center, changes everything.
You see, I can run this race as hard as I can. I can give as much as I can. I can volunteer here, give my money there. I can attend this worship service, and listen to that sermon. I can offer all that I am. I can speak His Word with every breath I take, but if when I raise my arms in worship, and when my eyes find rest, if they are not raised to my Savior and falling on His glorious beauty then I have nothing. My heart and devotion, desire and passion, need to fall on, focus in on Him, on bringing glory to Him. All too often, it's altogether too easy to attempt to bring glory to myself rather than to Him, and what I produce is a self-centered, chaotic, and horrific mess...
So where do our hearts fall today? Where do our motives lie? On Him? or on ourselves? Do we seek to line our hearts up with His or try desperately to fit Him into our preconceived expectations of life? Are we running with all that we have, trying to save ourselves by all-too-frequent "pats on the backs"? or are we living a life of a cheerful giver, living life out of gratitude and love for our amazing Father?
Where do our hearts fall today?...
Cheering you on as you seek to continuously align and re-align your hearts up with the path that is straight, full of life and truth.
May you find rest knowing that it is He who can make our paths straight and better yet "turn our mess into His message."
Kaylee
I sat down to write an email this morning. I began typing about a half a sentence worth of words and looked up only to see an utter disaster on the screen. Somehow, as I had begun to type, my hands had shifted a bit and instead of typing up a work of comprehensible material, I instead produced a mess, an incomprehensible cluster of letters, truly, a bowl of alphabet soup displayed itself on my screen. My fingers could have been flowing in sure literary genius, but without my fingers placed correctly on the keyboard, a disaster is all that I could produce. I'll admit I had to have a little chuckle at my expense...
Most of you can relate to this situation. However, some of you are still using the two-finger typing method and have yet to graduate to the two-handed, all finger encompassing efficiency and skill of typing, ha. Either way, most of you can relate to the struggling attempt of typing in perfection (I think it's fair to say that most of us are all too familiar with the "backspace" button on our keyboard, ha ha).
I can't help but think that the placement of my hands on the keyboard is like the placement of Christ in my life. Just a little off kilt and my desire to create a sure flowing grammatical and comprehensible masterpiece erupted into a disastrous mess of an email. So too, with Christ, placing Him just a little out of the center, changes everything.
You see, I can run this race as hard as I can. I can give as much as I can. I can volunteer here, give my money there. I can attend this worship service, and listen to that sermon. I can offer all that I am. I can speak His Word with every breath I take, but if when I raise my arms in worship, and when my eyes find rest, if they are not raised to my Savior and falling on His glorious beauty then I have nothing. My heart and devotion, desire and passion, need to fall on, focus in on Him, on bringing glory to Him. All too often, it's altogether too easy to attempt to bring glory to myself rather than to Him, and what I produce is a self-centered, chaotic, and horrific mess...
So where do our hearts fall today? Where do our motives lie? On Him? or on ourselves? Do we seek to line our hearts up with His or try desperately to fit Him into our preconceived expectations of life? Are we running with all that we have, trying to save ourselves by all-too-frequent "pats on the backs"? or are we living a life of a cheerful giver, living life out of gratitude and love for our amazing Father?
Where do our hearts fall today?...
Cheering you on as you seek to continuously align and re-align your hearts up with the path that is straight, full of life and truth.
May you find rest knowing that it is He who can make our paths straight and better yet "turn our mess into His message."
Kaylee
Polka Dots on the Heart.
Good Morning,
A couple of weeks ago I found myself in a conversation where a friend expressed that he was in a very dry season of the heart. It was actually a bit of music to my ears to hear that I wasn't the only one in such a spot.
The following day I grabbed a card for him...Well, actually we were meeting for breakfast prior to church. I began my venture towards the bagel shop - having to stop at a gas station on my way to fill up yet another flat tire (3rd time since my move down here to Charlotte) oh, and it was raining...and I didn't have seventy-five cents with me so I had to withdrawal $20 from a nearby ATM so as to get my seventy-five cents to fill up my flat tire in the rain...
Anyway, sorry, I'm getting a bit off track. It was actually after this that I remembered I had forgotten to grab a card from my card stash for the friend. I ran home quickly, grabbed the card, and sat in my car as the rain poured down my car's windshield (which has a huge crack in it, but yes, that is Bessie for you. And yes my car has a name. But just so you know you can only name a car once you've developed a relationship with it. Or if it's a brand new dream car where you can name it Babe or something like that). I began to write inside this card to my friend. It was blank - which I don't particularly always like blank cards because that means there's more space for me to fill up with my own words - I'm lazy. As I sat there in my car I had no idea what to write...I just started writing. What seemed to come to mind was the idea of being dry...a dry land. I found myself getting excited for my friend as I realized that a dry land is that much more in need of a rain. Kind of like a sponge. A moist or wet sponge can soak in more water, sure, no big deal. But a dry sponge. A dry sponge gets to soak in so much more all at once. When you hold a dry sponge under a faucet you can just feel it soaking and soaking up the water.
My brother and sister-in-law got me a journal for Christmas (as did many other friends and family members - thanks to you all - I love journals) I decided to start writing in the one they gave me...The journal has dividers in it. These dividers have quotes on one side and verses on the back side. I was flipping through it and ran across one whose quote read:
God often takes a course
for accomplishing His purposes
directly contrary to what our
narrow views would prescribe.
He brings a death upon our feelings,
wishes, and prospects when
He is about to give us
the desire of our hearts.
- John Newton
Last night while I was journaling I told God that my faith was a bit exhausted - as I was journaling these words it became more and more apparent how beautiful the dry seasons of our faith really are...It hit me that wherever there are dark spots in my heart, God can shine His light. In fact, these darkened areas of my life are the absolute perfect place for God to shine on in and in fact, embed and dwell in these dark spots so as to dissipate the darkness and shine forth His light.
You see, I would consider myself an optimistic manic depressant. I typically see the glass half full and I surely would never want to bring another person down and yet, one bad seed of confusion or sorrow in my heart can grow into a forest of despair for my soul. And I feel like my heart has all sorts of polka-dot dark spots. But recently, I'm really excited about these dark spots because they are truly dark spots. Confusion. Loneliness. Jealousy. Insecurity. They aren't tainted spots. I can't pretend they aren't there. I can't try to cover them up. Try to shine my own light, persay. They are there and they are dark. They are truly in need of a Savior. They need light, true light to shine on them...My own creative way of covering up and hiding these dark spots won't make due anymore.
So today, this morning, there is much hope in my heart and joy in my soul. Hope that as my heart remains dry and confused, it is only more and more ready to soak in His blessings that all flow in His perfect timing...and great joy that in my hopelessness, He brings hope. In my loneliness He offers friendship. In my despair, He whispers, see I am doing something new. And in my humanness, He still chooses to use me.
Cheering you on through all seasons of life.
May you have hope through the dark spots in your heart and wait in great excitement and anticipation for the ways in which God will transform darkness into light.
Kaylee
A couple of weeks ago I found myself in a conversation where a friend expressed that he was in a very dry season of the heart. It was actually a bit of music to my ears to hear that I wasn't the only one in such a spot.
The following day I grabbed a card for him...Well, actually we were meeting for breakfast prior to church. I began my venture towards the bagel shop - having to stop at a gas station on my way to fill up yet another flat tire (3rd time since my move down here to Charlotte) oh, and it was raining...and I didn't have seventy-five cents with me so I had to withdrawal $20 from a nearby ATM so as to get my seventy-five cents to fill up my flat tire in the rain...
Anyway, sorry, I'm getting a bit off track. It was actually after this that I remembered I had forgotten to grab a card from my card stash for the friend. I ran home quickly, grabbed the card, and sat in my car as the rain poured down my car's windshield (which has a huge crack in it, but yes, that is Bessie for you. And yes my car has a name. But just so you know you can only name a car once you've developed a relationship with it. Or if it's a brand new dream car where you can name it Babe or something like that). I began to write inside this card to my friend. It was blank - which I don't particularly always like blank cards because that means there's more space for me to fill up with my own words - I'm lazy. As I sat there in my car I had no idea what to write...I just started writing. What seemed to come to mind was the idea of being dry...a dry land. I found myself getting excited for my friend as I realized that a dry land is that much more in need of a rain. Kind of like a sponge. A moist or wet sponge can soak in more water, sure, no big deal. But a dry sponge. A dry sponge gets to soak in so much more all at once. When you hold a dry sponge under a faucet you can just feel it soaking and soaking up the water.
My brother and sister-in-law got me a journal for Christmas (as did many other friends and family members - thanks to you all - I love journals) I decided to start writing in the one they gave me...The journal has dividers in it. These dividers have quotes on one side and verses on the back side. I was flipping through it and ran across one whose quote read:
God often takes a course
for accomplishing His purposes
directly contrary to what our
narrow views would prescribe.
He brings a death upon our feelings,
wishes, and prospects when
He is about to give us
the desire of our hearts.
- John Newton
Last night while I was journaling I told God that my faith was a bit exhausted - as I was journaling these words it became more and more apparent how beautiful the dry seasons of our faith really are...It hit me that wherever there are dark spots in my heart, God can shine His light. In fact, these darkened areas of my life are the absolute perfect place for God to shine on in and in fact, embed and dwell in these dark spots so as to dissipate the darkness and shine forth His light.
You see, I would consider myself an optimistic manic depressant. I typically see the glass half full and I surely would never want to bring another person down and yet, one bad seed of confusion or sorrow in my heart can grow into a forest of despair for my soul. And I feel like my heart has all sorts of polka-dot dark spots. But recently, I'm really excited about these dark spots because they are truly dark spots. Confusion. Loneliness. Jealousy. Insecurity. They aren't tainted spots. I can't pretend they aren't there. I can't try to cover them up. Try to shine my own light, persay. They are there and they are dark. They are truly in need of a Savior. They need light, true light to shine on them...My own creative way of covering up and hiding these dark spots won't make due anymore.
So today, this morning, there is much hope in my heart and joy in my soul. Hope that as my heart remains dry and confused, it is only more and more ready to soak in His blessings that all flow in His perfect timing...and great joy that in my hopelessness, He brings hope. In my loneliness He offers friendship. In my despair, He whispers, see I am doing something new. And in my humanness, He still chooses to use me.
Cheering you on through all seasons of life.
May you have hope through the dark spots in your heart and wait in great excitement and anticipation for the ways in which God will transform darkness into light.
Kaylee
Options.
Hola!
Last night, while lying in bed, I began to create options in my head. And by "options" I am referring to potential mates. A bit pathetic to admit, I know.
You may get a chuckle out of this, I sure do, but our chapter of American Red Cross is having its 90th anniversary in March. I am helping to coordinate a Birthday Party to celebrate this landmark. It will consist of all sorts of birthday festivities including the presence of players from the Charlotte Eagles semi-pro soccer team. As I was lying in bed I jumped from "option" to "option." As I did so, I instantaneously noticed how quickly my emotions, feelings, and thoughts could grab hold onto an "option" and run with it...all reflected in the fact, that I've already got the wedding date set, the dress bought, and the happily-ever-after story written and ready to go with at least one or all of the players in attendance - and for all I know, they're all married, ha ha.
Four months. I have four more months until my AmeriCorps service comes to a completion. Once again, options is the name of the game. I continuously bounce from one option to the next. One day I'm set on moving to Florida in order to teach speech to high schoolers. The next day, I'm set on moving back to the Midwest where I can be close to family and friends (yes, family and friends, why else would anybody in their right mind move back to the frigidity artic weather you folks endure up there :)
The day after that, I'll forget about location and start thinking about vocation. I should just start a card collection called Cheering You on, and it'll be just like Hallmark but instead of holidays and birthdays, oh we'll do that too, but we'll also write cards to hit certain seasons of life. Yeah, that's it. Or maybe I should write music. I love singing. I love music. I bet God could use me to reach people by writing music. Over and over again, my mind creates options. And the emotions that these thoughts invoke grab hold of me, repeatedly taking me on an emotional roller coaster.
Options. Life offers so many options. That's the exciting part.
Options. Life offers so many options. That's the absolutely horrifying part.
And for me personally, all too often it seems more horrifying than exciting.
Some of you may understand exactly where I'm coming from. It seems that "options" are flying at you left and right.
So what do we do with "options?"
Honestly, I don't know the answer to this question. I struggle every day with choosing from the infinite-options toolbar of life.
Maybe we just lay it all down. Maybe we tell Satan to step behind us, for confusion to flee us. Maybe we stop creating options.
And maybe we just sit instead. We sit and listen for the still small voice to lead us. Because that voice was, is, and is to come. His voice will remain...
Options will come and go, minute by minute, and season by season. Some options offer freedom and adventure. Some options are there solely for us to decline. They're there for us to wrestle with...and as you wrestle through what God is calling for your life, as you roll over options in your head, you will have moments of great clarity and you will have moments of confusion...Trust Him. He may not speak today, or tomorrow, but He will speak and He will lead. He always does. His faithfulness reaching to the heavens!
so sit...and listen..
Cheering you on as you wrestle with options!
May you fondle these options, yes, but may you not fret over them.
Kaylee
Last night, while lying in bed, I began to create options in my head. And by "options" I am referring to potential mates. A bit pathetic to admit, I know.
You may get a chuckle out of this, I sure do, but our chapter of American Red Cross is having its 90th anniversary in March. I am helping to coordinate a Birthday Party to celebrate this landmark. It will consist of all sorts of birthday festivities including the presence of players from the Charlotte Eagles semi-pro soccer team. As I was lying in bed I jumped from "option" to "option." As I did so, I instantaneously noticed how quickly my emotions, feelings, and thoughts could grab hold onto an "option" and run with it...all reflected in the fact, that I've already got the wedding date set, the dress bought, and the happily-ever-after story written and ready to go with at least one or all of the players in attendance - and for all I know, they're all married, ha ha.
Four months. I have four more months until my AmeriCorps service comes to a completion. Once again, options is the name of the game. I continuously bounce from one option to the next. One day I'm set on moving to Florida in order to teach speech to high schoolers. The next day, I'm set on moving back to the Midwest where I can be close to family and friends (yes, family and friends, why else would anybody in their right mind move back to the frigidity artic weather you folks endure up there :)
The day after that, I'll forget about location and start thinking about vocation. I should just start a card collection called Cheering You on, and it'll be just like Hallmark but instead of holidays and birthdays, oh we'll do that too, but we'll also write cards to hit certain seasons of life. Yeah, that's it. Or maybe I should write music. I love singing. I love music. I bet God could use me to reach people by writing music. Over and over again, my mind creates options. And the emotions that these thoughts invoke grab hold of me, repeatedly taking me on an emotional roller coaster.
Options. Life offers so many options. That's the exciting part.
Options. Life offers so many options. That's the absolutely horrifying part.
And for me personally, all too often it seems more horrifying than exciting.
Some of you may understand exactly where I'm coming from. It seems that "options" are flying at you left and right.
So what do we do with "options?"
Honestly, I don't know the answer to this question. I struggle every day with choosing from the infinite-options toolbar of life.
Maybe we just lay it all down. Maybe we tell Satan to step behind us, for confusion to flee us. Maybe we stop creating options.
And maybe we just sit instead. We sit and listen for the still small voice to lead us. Because that voice was, is, and is to come. His voice will remain...
Options will come and go, minute by minute, and season by season. Some options offer freedom and adventure. Some options are there solely for us to decline. They're there for us to wrestle with...and as you wrestle through what God is calling for your life, as you roll over options in your head, you will have moments of great clarity and you will have moments of confusion...Trust Him. He may not speak today, or tomorrow, but He will speak and He will lead. He always does. His faithfulness reaching to the heavens!
so sit...and listen..
Cheering you on as you wrestle with options!
May you fondle these options, yes, but may you not fret over them.
Kaylee
Seek and you will find.
Hello Hello,
I had figured since Cheering You On: as you run your race with Christ is in the process of being published, I was perhaps done writing "Cheering You On" emails...ha ha, but somehow it appears that I'm not done...God continues to reveal Himself in quirky ways, ways I feel like sharing. :)
so here we go...another Cheering You On:
I was driving home from the mall today. (I still stand by the statement of my dislike towards malls. In fact, I believe this is perhaps only my 3rd or 4th time going to this particular mall since my arrival in Charlotte - one time being for an eye appointment. I don't know how they do it, but malls have this way of introducing me to the idea that perhaps my life is incomplete without this sweater, pair of pants, or new pair of shoes. I somehow manage to almost always leave malls disheartened...ha ha, eh, such is life).
I hopped in my car. Started her up and began my venture home - which was interrupted by the fact I had to stop at work to retrieve a jacket I had left there earlier in the week. I then decided to write this, so I haven't made it home yet, but I'm getting there - Anyway, what I'm trying to get to is the fact that while driving I had this annoying, nagging discomfort in my back. It felt as if something was there, perhaps part of my clothing had bunched up...I tried a couple of times to feel for what it could be, apparently got impatient with it, and gave up.
After a while of feeling this ”item" digging into my back I finally reached back again, discovered that the string adjuster on my jacket had folded up and was indeed, digging into my back. I quickly brushed it downward and instantaneously felt the relief of my actions. All I could think was why didn't I do that sooner? As the thought rolled over in my mind, I had an overlapping thought of Why don't you do things sooner in all areas of your life?
It seems that I am currently going through this awkward season where I know something isn't quite right with God. I have ideas, guesstimates, and perhaps, yes indeed, excuses (ha, ha) as to why my heart is the way it is right now. The thing is I've tried a couple of times to grab at it, take hold of it, and fix it. But it hasn't worked.
And now, after this little moment in my car, I can't help but think, What's there? What haven't you grabbed onto and fixed? What is it that you are allowing to sit and nag at your soul? Why not try one more time to reconfigure your heart?
Maybe you're like this. Maybe you're sitting at your computer right now, and you have pains, discomforts, and questions that haven't been healed, relieved, or answered. Maybe you feel like giving up. Maybe the idea of persevering seems absurd. But what if we're wrong? What if there's more in store for both of us, for you and for me?
Maybe, just maybe it's all worth the continuous pressing...that is, we press on to take hold of all that He has in store for us. I know God is the one who lives in us making us whole and complete, but I'm really starting to catch onto this beautiful game of hide n' go seek. Although I must admit, for me personally, it appears He has the best hiding spot ever! :)
I love it.
Cheering you on as you try time and time again for it is in the trying that we are refined into something a little more like Him.
Today, little by little, may there be comfort and peace in your heart.
Kaylee
I had figured since Cheering You On: as you run your race with Christ is in the process of being published, I was perhaps done writing "Cheering You On" emails...ha ha, but somehow it appears that I'm not done...God continues to reveal Himself in quirky ways, ways I feel like sharing. :)
so here we go...another Cheering You On:
I was driving home from the mall today. (I still stand by the statement of my dislike towards malls. In fact, I believe this is perhaps only my 3rd or 4th time going to this particular mall since my arrival in Charlotte - one time being for an eye appointment. I don't know how they do it, but malls have this way of introducing me to the idea that perhaps my life is incomplete without this sweater, pair of pants, or new pair of shoes. I somehow manage to almost always leave malls disheartened...ha ha, eh, such is life).
I hopped in my car. Started her up and began my venture home - which was interrupted by the fact I had to stop at work to retrieve a jacket I had left there earlier in the week. I then decided to write this, so I haven't made it home yet, but I'm getting there - Anyway, what I'm trying to get to is the fact that while driving I had this annoying, nagging discomfort in my back. It felt as if something was there, perhaps part of my clothing had bunched up...I tried a couple of times to feel for what it could be, apparently got impatient with it, and gave up.
After a while of feeling this ”item" digging into my back I finally reached back again, discovered that the string adjuster on my jacket had folded up and was indeed, digging into my back. I quickly brushed it downward and instantaneously felt the relief of my actions. All I could think was why didn't I do that sooner? As the thought rolled over in my mind, I had an overlapping thought of Why don't you do things sooner in all areas of your life?
It seems that I am currently going through this awkward season where I know something isn't quite right with God. I have ideas, guesstimates, and perhaps, yes indeed, excuses (ha, ha) as to why my heart is the way it is right now. The thing is I've tried a couple of times to grab at it, take hold of it, and fix it. But it hasn't worked.
And now, after this little moment in my car, I can't help but think, What's there? What haven't you grabbed onto and fixed? What is it that you are allowing to sit and nag at your soul? Why not try one more time to reconfigure your heart?
Maybe you're like this. Maybe you're sitting at your computer right now, and you have pains, discomforts, and questions that haven't been healed, relieved, or answered. Maybe you feel like giving up. Maybe the idea of persevering seems absurd. But what if we're wrong? What if there's more in store for both of us, for you and for me?
Maybe, just maybe it's all worth the continuous pressing...that is, we press on to take hold of all that He has in store for us. I know God is the one who lives in us making us whole and complete, but I'm really starting to catch onto this beautiful game of hide n' go seek. Although I must admit, for me personally, it appears He has the best hiding spot ever! :)
I love it.
Cheering you on as you try time and time again for it is in the trying that we are refined into something a little more like Him.
Today, little by little, may there be comfort and peace in your heart.
Kaylee
May 9, 2008
Conclusion.
Conclusion.
Conclusion? I don’t suppose there is a conclusion. This may be the last page in the book, but it is purely a moment in time. The story doesn’t conclude here; it continues on. I’m just part of the story, part of the journey. And as I explored this God of the universe, as I came to know Him more and more…I wrote.
Thank you for taking the time to go through this thought process with me. Thank you for being part of my story, and in so doing, being part of the greatest story ever told. Thank you.
Cheering you on as you run your race with Christ.
Kaylee
Conclusion? I don’t suppose there is a conclusion. This may be the last page in the book, but it is purely a moment in time. The story doesn’t conclude here; it continues on. I’m just part of the story, part of the journey. And as I explored this God of the universe, as I came to know Him more and more…I wrote.
Thank you for taking the time to go through this thought process with me. Thank you for being part of my story, and in so doing, being part of the greatest story ever told. Thank you.
Cheering you on as you run your race with Christ.
Kaylee
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)