Rest your body on an air mattress, Rest your soul on God.

Hello.

I know, you know, we all know...I sleep on an air mattress. And yes, for whatever reason I seem to find utter satisfaction in the fact that every night I, Kaylee Marie Hendrickson, find myself sleeping on an air mattress. I do, I seem to find some sort of pride and satisfaction out of it. I suppose I must admit that for whatever reason it's sacred to me. Ha, okay so maybe sacred is a bit much in describing the location of where my drewel falls at night but really, I think that sleeping on an air mattress has much more signifance in my life than simply a lousy night of sleep. It reminds me to live life simply. It reminds me that I don't need more. It reminds me that I am truly blessed. So yes, I suppose sacred. To me, sleeping on an air mattress is sacred. I feel the need to add in here that it's a deluxe air mattress...yes, deluxe. It has this whole thing that lifts it up off the floor. Truly beautiful and truly quite the luxury should I find myself engulfed upon a camping expedition in the up and coming future.

Okay okay, air mattress, sacred experience. Moving on.

Though it may be a sacred experience it is also a very crappy experience. Every morning I wake up ridiculously freezing, particularly my toes. (I honestly think that it's because my air mattress rests itself on a slant due to the make up of my room. This allots for the blood to flow to my head and not to my toes, ha ha. Hence, I wake up freezing, painfully freezing. Though I have found it as a handy technique for not hitting snooze too many times as I find myself sprinting to the hopeful knowledge of a hot shower.

I'd like to note here that my air mattress is a double-wide. It's big...huge...lots of room to move around...and yet, I only sleep on half of it. I tend to curl up in the top left-hand corner. I'm never truly comfortable and I don't end up sleeping in the typical comfortable positions I've slept in for the past 22 years of my life.

So, the other night I was lying on this oh-so-wonderful air mattress and I couldn't get comfortable. I was freezing and restless. I got to the point where I began to think that I was never going to be able to warm up, get comfortable, and fall sleep.

For whatever reason, I began sinking in towards the middle of the mattress. ahhh, so much more comfortable. A little bit later I was finally so cold I pulled the sheet out from under me and grabbed the blanket I had below (which I know, why hadn't I used it before on all those cold nights?...because, cost/opportunity, or something like that. I thought the cost of being cold outweighed the opportunity to be comfortable?...I finally concealed and ripped off the sheet, grabbed the blankets underneath, threw my pillows in the middle, and climbed into bed.

The past two nights have been the warmest and most comfortable nights since my arrival in Charlotte - besides those couple of nights I house sat for a dear friend and landed myself what seemed a cloud of blessings to sleep on, ha ha.

The thing is that in this whole little bit I realized how much my air mattress represented my heart. The past couple of months have been incredibly hard...lonely...confusing...difficult, and I've found myself curled up in my own little corner. Not wanting to move. Frozen. Even perhaps numb. Really, to be completely honest...I really just felt dead. As I sunk into my air mattress and as my body began to release itself, I realized how much my heart was starting to do the same. It's starting to ease up. It's starting to breathe. And just how the blankets warmed me up, so too, has God been my strength when all I have is weakness to offer. I don't know what made me finally sink into the air mattress. I could have all along but I didn't. I was too hidden in my corner of the mattress. I don't know why it has taken until now to see with eyes wide open the beautiful saving hand of my Father. But I am. I'm sinking into Him. He's comforting my heart and warming my soul. And me? I'm finding rest.

So what is it? What is it that has you cornered up, cold, and unable to find rest?

May you hope. Hope in Him who, in our incredibly great weaknesses, reaches deep down into our lives and brings restoration, in His timing and working it for good.

Cheering you on as you seek to find the areas of your life that have you cornered up, bitter, angry, frustrated, numb, confused, empty.

May you hope in your inability to save yourself and rest in His ability to save your all in accordance to His perfect will.

Kaylee